Dear Diary…

Since this is my blog, I’ve decided to share some intimate things about myself, though of course not everything, but things I would be willing to share and tell, like directly conversing with my blog. So here it goes…

July 26, 2012

Dear Diary,

Every time our professor gives one of his ‘slice of life’ speeches, I look stone-cold and bored, but deep inside, I’m so hurt, it’s like knives silently stabbing my heart one by one, each stabbing harder and harder.

He talks of enjoying life too, which is such a blur right now to me. I’m not happy anymore. Much more than the cortisol-inducing stress, I literally don’t know why I’m right here right now. My ‘college life’ is such a sad book. I wake up every day for something I’m not happy or at least inspired to do. It has now gotten to this point that I go to school just for the sake of going to school.

I’m tired. I study, I really do. Everyone says I’m a good student. But being a good student is not enough. I am counting the days until this semester is finally over. One day this will be over, I keep repeating this phrase over and over. It seems like life would really put you down, though you try hard, it’s not enough. You read, study, read, study…An unending process that’s giving me unsatisfactory results. I just cry every time because I can’t collect all the pain. I should let it out.

Maybe it’s because I lost purpose in what I’m doing, that’s why I get so tired easily. I have the thought of helping myself and each time I fail it’s like the sky fell down on me. I found little ways of helping myself though, I posted a motivational poster given to me a long time ago by a friend. I posted it in the wall beside my bed in the dormitory. I don’t read it everyday, the worries of everyday visit me more than thoughts of motivation. But it’s so beautiful that I want it inside my heart and remembered in my brain. Only time will tell when I find my way. Just because my college life is not happy, it doesn’t mean that my life should be unhappy too. With that said, I’ll share the poster to you:

 

Always Remember

Your presence is a present to the world.

You are unique and one of a kind.

Your life can be what you want it to be.

Take the days just one at a time.

 

Count your blessings, not your troubles.

You will make it through whatever comes along.

Within you are so many answers.

Understand, have courage, be strong.

 

Do not put limits on yourself.

So many dreams are waiting to be realized.

Decisions are too important to leave the chance.

Reach for your peak, your goal and your prize.

 

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.

The longer one carries a problem the heavier it gets.

Do not take things too seriously.

Live a life of serenity, not a life of regrets.

 

Remember that a little love goes a long way.

Remember that a lot goes forever.

Remember that friendship is a wise investment.

Life’s treasures are people together.

 

Realize that it is never too late.

Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.

Have health and hope and happiness.

Take the time to wish upon a star.

 

AND DO NOT EVER FORGET.

FOR EVEN A DAY

HOW VERY SPECIAL YOU ARE!

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