Dear Diary #4

August 12, 2012

Dear Diary,

So it’s afternoon already and I’m still bombarded with a lot to do. Okay, I procrastinated with my free days. That doesn’t mean I don’t know how to handle my time, it’s just that I really can’t focus on what to do. For the record, I have to review on Calculus, Cost Accounting and Financial Accounting, and I have to read our ‘‘Law On Obligations and Contracts’’ book.

While reading I just can’t stay put, I’m worrying again and spurring either random thoughts or just plain blabber.

I live in a land of narrow-minded fools, where such a folly is famous and prevailing. Not my family but, well…my classmates and schoolmates and those around me.  Maybe that’s why I want to graduate already, I can’t conform with them, aside from the fact that I am not with my true friends. Of course I have friends at school but they are nothing like my high school friends. I have little things in common with them in contrast with my two beloved high school and lifetime friends. I wonder why it’s so hard to form a friendship with those unlike you.

And my classmates, all of them dream of the same thing, I don’t. I have different plans, different goals, a different path. Just because we spend the day in the same room doesn’t mean the same for when we graduate. But most of all, I don’t have to fit in. It’s fine with me. That day will come when I’m finally walking on the road I should be.

So I was thinking about those things when I enter my sister’s room, she was watching Galaxy Angel on DVD.  I joined in because heck, I love anime and I miss those days when I can freely watch it without any worries in mind. My weekends are really like a day-off from work. I’m at my home. And Sunday only hurts when thoughts of Monday come along.

While watching Galaxy Angel, I suddenly remembered that the 5 main characters are different personalities yet, they seem to show a bit of care or connection at least. I wonder if that can really work in real life. I am not saying that I don’t love my college friends, it’s just that I’m not fully with them. I may be physically present in our “bonding times” but mentally, I want to be elsewhere. I know I’m a good friend to them, I help them in ways I can. Somehow I can’t tell them that I’m not happy with college life anymore, I don’t want to tell them anyway. I can’t share a lot of things to them. In fact, they know little about me. And it’s a reason I have learned to love blogging because in some way I know I am capable of sharing things. Maybe I can’t share everything to them, I just think that what’s important is that I’m still a friend to them.

Okay, enough blabber now. Back to work.

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