Bus rides

What is it with looking out the window of a bus and suddenly you’re on “reflecting mode”? I don’t ride the bus often, but the Jeepney (a public vehicle in the Philippines) has the same effect too, sometimes…even cars. Maybe its because you’re just looking outside, doing nothing but still, you’re moving. Life never stops moving and sometimes we just watch and when the ride is over, we’re back to normal in whatever we do whether fulfilling or not.

Dear Diary #11

January 16, 2013

Dear Diary,

I know I don’t post much lately…It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s just that the days would just pass by. I’m with mixed emotions because this is what I wanted, I want the days to pass by quickly because I can’t wait to graduate. It’s still a year before that but I can’t wait, as you know, I’m unhappy with my course…But I have been coping up as I said. And I do feel better, sometimes too better I think. And maybe that’s good rather than me sulking every time. I think I could go on too without another visit to the guidance councilor. It feels good that I can cheer up myself once again.

Moving on, last night I finished the anime Daddy Long Legs. I’ve been watching the episode since last year and it gave me quite an experience. Its an adaptation of Jean Webster’s novel with some changes. I haven’t read the novel yet, but the anime is somehow nostalgic. It was aired and dubbed in the Philippines when I was young and honestly, I didn’t watch it, except for one time and that’s all I can recall. It’s either they aired it when I was in Guam or that it is airing on TV and I refuse to watch it simply because I’m not too fond of Judy’s “Pippi Longstocking” hair.  What made it nostalgic was that I share the same name with the protagonist- Judy, but mine is spelled with an ‘i’. I remember high school classmates who call me Judy Abbott sometimes. And last semester a classmate asked if I knew Daddy Long Legs. I would always say yes because I am familiar with it but haven’t had the chance to really watch the series. I realized it’s one of the anime series that made our childhood along with Princess Sarah, Sailor Moon, Doraemon, Hello Kitty, etc.

So I decided to watch the series and I was very surprised because I enjoyed watching it, especially during Christmas vacation. I watched episode after episode and though it was predictable at times, it was very fun to watch. What made me so engaging was the fact that I actually have a lot of similarities with Judy Abbott. I’m also a writer, I’m also a poet, she has written short stories which I’ve done too, she has written novels which is I want to do, they acted William Shakespeare’s As You Like It while that was the play assigned to our class in our junior year, she writes letters regularly and I write letters to my two best friends though not regularly,  she writes to her ”Daddy” while I’ve always written in diaries even though it seems like I’m just talking to myself. Her birthplace is New York which is where I want to go. Even the way she acts when teased with boys, I see myself and I just laugh while watching.

I couldn’t believe that I would instantly fall in love with it.  I judged it even before watching it and now that I gave it a chance, I just simply adore it. And like anyone who has ever finished watching a series, I’m in a “what now?” state, but it left quite an impression on me and I’m glad it did.

What I want now is Judy’s cheerful nature, when I was a child I know I was that cheerful, but growing up I began to show a shy, quiet, introverted side in me. Sometimes I miss that child, sometimes I cry when I remember her, it’s like I don’t know her but I know I do. Maybe she is still inside me, I’m not sure, but when I know I’ll tell you. Cheers, 🙂

Dear Diary #7

Sept. 24, 2012

Dear Diary,

A lot happened today, well, ‘a lot’ happened from afternoon onward. It was our recollection day today.  I wasn’t even excited, after doing it once a year for the third time now, it doesn’t give me any excitement other than the fact that there is no classes for us. It was nice to be with my friends from Section B again. The facilitator started the recollection in a good note. He told us the reflection in the story of “The Two Blind Men” in the gospel. After that, my section, A, was parted from B. We went to the other classroom and met our speaker, we only did an activity called “Jesus Chair” in which, when you touch the chair, you will have the power to dance, you perform any dance step then assign another person, that person then does the dance and makes his own steps for the next person until everyone is done. It was fun, laughing hard after being so gloomy is such a good feeling.

After that we had the (usual) snack prepared for us. After snack time both sections were merged and the speaker (the one assigned to Section B) facilitated the session. He was funny and quirky with all his movements that really made us laugh. But what really struck me was the content of what he was speaking, the generic, routinary life I feel right now. It was kind of uplifting because it is true. You say you’re “fine” even though a lot is going on, people don’t care and we yearn for illusions to come true but that only breaks our hearts.

After that was an abysmal lunch, really, the food never gets better. Then we waited in the classrooms and another scene-stealing tantrum of mine happened again. I hugged the right arm of Daddy V (we actually call him Kuya V, kuya means big brother in Filipino since he’s already 23yrs old). He’s really a nice guy, over the time when I was in a bad moo with College Crush, he’d be there joking that my crush would pay, aside from my Pare, he’s the next reason I softened up to boys, because believe me, I was androphobic, I didn’t talk to them,  and it was only in our 1st yr 2nd semester that I warmed up to them, they were kind after all. And they’re kind of special to me because they’re my first male friends.

So I hugged him and we went to the other room where my former classmates were. Actually, there was a time I hugged him worse than what I did today. I know everyone saw me and I don’t care, I don’t have any obligation to explain to them anyway, I don’t owe them anything.

The next session was held held by the speaker who did the “Jesus Chair” activity. In all honesty, he was boring and I went to sleep, then my friend told me not to sleep because those douchebag classmates of ours seated in our front view (we were formed in a U-shape) were laughing. At the back of my mind I said, and so? I know myself that if my body wants to sleep, then it will sleep. Our speaker shifted to an all boring mode and nobody was even listening anymore.

Finally, the recollection ended and me and my friends stayed at one apartment. We rested for awhile, talked and everything. I went back to my dormitory to change and put on slippers (because my killer wedge shoes need rest too!).

We rode a Jeepney to go to the mall and when we asked for the driver to stop, he didn’t stop right away because there were snatchers/thieves along the roadside. When the driver stopped, we were afraid to go but then one of us moved and all of us followed quickly.

Due to our busy schedule, it was only this time that me and my friends went out. One of my friends was going to buy pants, she didn’t buy one here so we went to another mall (by another Jeepney ride again, see how the Jeepney is so convenient, haha :D).

We saw two of our classmates who were lovers and another girl who was with someone new.  I treated my friends for dinner, we did a little grocery shopping and was then on our way home.

My friends told me that I was doing it again (the thing with Daddy V, I’ve already done with College Crush albeit in a more disastrous way). They told me that even though I don’t care our classmates still have those judgemental eyes. I know what they’re saying is true. When I was back at my dormitory, thinking about it I had a sudden reality experience.

Because my friend told me that if I keep acting that way, our classmates would think I’m “thirsty” for men. Right then I wanted to tell her that maybe I am. And I realized maybe it’s because I didn’t have much of a good shot with my father, the lack of a male figure ( although  I have my grandfather, it’s just not the same with a father), and the lack of male friend or much worse, a suitor, heck, I was even androphobic.

What everyone doesn’t understand is that when I hug them, it’s the satiation of my deprived feelings. And it is just clearly, purely, innocent friendship.

Anyway, I’m glad that I came into this realization, or else I’d end being promiscuous or desperate for a man. And I will not do any physical contact with the boys that might make another scene.

This is the longest post I wrote to you Diary, I hope that satiates my infrequent updates. 😀

Travel the world with fun and fashion!

Travel the world with fun and fashion!

Travel the world with fun and fashion! by berryjudi featuring knot jewelry

Akri
€1.498 – veryeickhoff.com

Viva Bordello stiletto heels
$75 – heels.com

Red Herring bowler bag
£20 – debenhams.com

Kenneth Jay Lane 18k jewelry
€72 – pret-a-beaute.com

Knot jewelry
£59 – liberty.co.uk

People Tree cherry necklace
£15 – peopletree.co.uk

Marc jacobs fragrance
$45 – dillards.com

The Anticipation Never Dies

Nowadays, in my country, girls like Batman because of Daniel Padilla and Superman because of Kimpoy Feliciano, it’s not that I don’t like them, I do. But for me, I don’t just like these superheroes because their names are attached to these celebrities but because I really do like them. Okay, Superman I like a bit but Batman…I love.

I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but everyone can relate when it comes to being a fan. We attach a part of ourselves to it that’s why we get hurt when we get ridiculed with our fandom. Others go overboard with their quirky actions but others stay closeted in their social fears. I myself was discreet about these things. But then I realized, why hide it?  There’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s a part of you. Whatever may lie ahead I’m not scared to say I watch anime, I’m a cinephile, whenever I’m in a bookstore you’d find me in the classics section, and I once contemplated on being a ballerina. I am not and will never be ashamed, for these things make up the totality of who I am. Like our professor once said, “don’t look at people only in some parts, see them as a whole”.

No matter how much perplexing it is to others, “true blue” fans know and understand the essence of what they idolize. Synonyms for “fan” include: aficionado, devotee, enthusiast, even addict and maniac, etc. Though similar, the words “fan” and “fanatic” have different meaning, but oftentimes we just assume that fan is short for fanatic because both words are used loosely. In my case, I’d like to think that the word fan stems more from ”fascination”. It draws us close to what we like, the fascination we see that others may not.

 

Putting things into perspective, I have been waiting for more than a year to finally see “The Dark Knight Rises” and every trailer is just amazing as the previous one. After each viewing I am left with excitement and thirst for more to come. As cheesy as it may sound, its like a dream coming true. Its about the whole experience you’ll get in the silver screen, the chills, the laughs and most importantly the ride you go along with throughout the movie. As the clock ticks and the time comes near, the excitement just grows gradually. You might think one may get tired or bored for waiting so long but no, the anticipation never dies.

Ice Scramble!

Image

Creamy, milky goodness…leaves you asking, is this the food of the goddess?

Ice cold to perfection with the purpose of dismissing the warm heat, an inevitable summer treat.

Yummy milk powder makes you ask for another.

Chocolate syrup tempts my taste buds to slurp.

In seconds I was left with an empty cup, sweet treat you lighten me up!

I offer thy sweet treat, a poem that only speaks truth, I speak of its perfection in my most enjoying consumption.

This dessert is basically crushed ice with evaporated milk, sugar, and flavoring. It is then sprinkled with milk powder and chocolate syrup. Most Filipinos are familiar with this treat because of the vendors that peddle in the streets. Recently, it gained more spotlight because of creative minds selling this treat with an array of toppings like M&Ms in little stalls in malls and other places (presumably where people would want a little snack). What’s fascinating about this treat is that, its part of the culture of us Filipinos, our appetite for cold desserts stems from the fact that we live in a warm climate. And to add that, I have been longing for the vendor of this treat to come by our village, he comes everyday but for some reason he hasn’t come for days. The more days he didn’t come and the more I craved.

But at last! We meet again, and my appetite has been filled (for a while, he he). My taste buds livened and my spirit was with joy ever devouring this treat, after parting for such a long time, scoop by scoop. Until we meet again, my sweet friend.

Here’s the recipe if you want to try it: http://pinoyfoodblog.com/filipino-delicacies/how-to-make-ice-scramble/

Have fun! 🙂

A realization, resolution and reflection

I’ve been posting much of my poems lately that I think it wouldn’t bother if I post something else. Its a write-up I did after knowing some unpleasant news of college crush, its written in my mother language. What I hope is that I find other Filipinos here in WordPress (especially girls), and I hope they like this as much as I liked writing it that I almost sound like a radio personality giving love advice. Well, here it is:

  • Realization: Bakit hindi na lang kaya pwedeng yung mga boyfriend binibili na lang? Diba? Punta ka ng mall o kahit saang pwedeng bilihan at mag-eenjoy ka na sa pinagpipilian mo. Kahit window shopping lang okay na. Kung gusto mo, merong stock para sayo , kung di ka makapili maghintay ng bagong labas, kung gusto mong maiba naman mag-order online, kung nagtitipid, bumili kapag sale, o kaya sa night market, sa palengke, kung talagang may pera bumili nung limited edition, haha. Kung iisipin mo pang mabuti ang ideyang pumasok sa isip ko, bumili ka ng mga naka-package, kagaya ng sulit pack, pag mayaman collector’s box, o kaya yung 2+1 free, lima o anim yung laman, diba, parang pabango lang, araw-araw iba boyfriend mo, mapipili mo kung sino ang kasama mo depende sa mood mo. At eto pa, kung ayaw mo na edi bumili na lang ng bago, i-dispose mo na lang  ng maayos yung dati at ganun lang kadali ang break-up, at susunod dyan, madali na rin ang moving on, getting over stage at starting over with someone new.     Pero sa bawat bagay na pinadali, may kaakibat na epekto. Kung wala na ang mga bagay na binanggit ko, wala na rin ang sweet recociliation pagkatapos mag-away, wala ng kilig moments/awkward moments/pasimple, chancing, diskarte moments. Kung walang away sa isang relasyon, wala na ring sorry hug/kiss, kung di ka nadapa, di ka tatayo ng mas malakas, kung di ka natalo, di ka na mag-pupursige.
  • Resolution: Sa mga bagay na gusto nating mangyari, hindi lahat natutupad, si God ang nagdedesisyon, at laging mas maganda ang gusto ni God para sa atin. Sa mga na-basted, tanggapin nyo na, sa araw-araw gawin mong masaya ang isang tao, kahit sa sarili mo lang. At para sa mga nam-basted, wehh? yan na talaga desisyon mo teh? Haha. Para sa mga nasa relasyon, respetuhin at magtiwala sa isa’t-isa, ok? Wag mag-LQ ng wagas. Para sa mga broken-hearted, kakahiwalay, at kahit sa mga may love-nat, ikaw ang may hawak ng buhay mo, hindi siya, at lalong hindi kayo, dahil wala na nga kayo diba? Pinanganak ka para mabuhay , wag mong patayin ang sarili mo sa nakaraan. And lastly, para sa mga naiinip kagaya ko, darating at darting din siya, kapag dumating na siya spakin natin dahil nagpalaboy-laboy muna, o diba, mas maganda kaysa sa “ang tagal kong naghintay para magkaroon ng kagay mo”. Pina-iikot tayo ng pagmamahal, huwag mong sabihin sa sarili mong walang nagmamahal sayo, dahil mayroong nagmahal sayo ng sobra at namatay sa krus.
  • Reflection: Marahil masyado tayong ”obsessed” sa mga “lovelife” natin pero sa totoo lang, lagi tayong may lovelife dahil 24/7 tayong pinapakitaan ng pagmamahal ni God. Sa lahat ng mangyayari sa ating buhay, ika nga, don’t watch the clock, do what it does, keep moving.

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