Not The Only One

I planned on uploading pictures on my other Tumblr blogs last weekend too but it seems that Tumblr’s new features aren’t working. Today I searched some posts and to my relief, it isn’t just me who was having problems. I repeat, I was relieved that I wasn’t the only one.  Maybe that is how we really are. We want an assurance that it’s not only ourselves who experience some things but others too…in anything. When we’re down, we drag others down too. But when we’re happy, well, we’re happy, end of story. But when in difficult times, we want everyone to share the burden too.

Bus rides

What is it with looking out the window of a bus and suddenly you’re on “reflecting mode”? I don’t ride the bus often, but the Jeepney (a public vehicle in the Philippines) has the same effect too, sometimes…even cars. Maybe its because you’re just looking outside, doing nothing but still, you’re moving. Life never stops moving and sometimes we just watch and when the ride is over, we’re back to normal in whatever we do whether fulfilling or not.

Empty Existence

This will be my first daily blabber post. For the love of this blog, I’ll be posting some random thoughts of just about anything that would pass my mind. My goal is to post everyday, some or a lot will be in queue. I hope I could keep this up unlike my “quote-essay” which only has one post. Oopsie.

So, I wonder if there is such a thing as an empty existence. I do believe in what Oscar Wilde has said that others just exist rather than “live”. What baffles me is that we live in this world of random things but it is our choice if random things just remain random or familiar to us. That we affect each other somehow. Like you saw that random lady with a nice bag, that guy with a weird haircut, that noisy child in the park…and they evoke some thoughts in you, thoughts are powerful, they can make you, they say something about you. If you agree that the random lady did have a nice bag, you reacted, and you’ll have a thought, that may become an idea, you like that bag and you’re going to find which store sells it, you are going to spend your precious time on an idea you got from a random lady.

My point is, if we evoke ideas in a mere menial way, then isn’t that proof we exist for some kind of reason? Or maybe some people live “empty” but we see something from them which influences us, though they don’t see themselves.

Dear Diary #4

August 12, 2012

Dear Diary,

So it’s afternoon already and I’m still bombarded with a lot to do. Okay, I procrastinated with my free days. That doesn’t mean I don’t know how to handle my time, it’s just that I really can’t focus on what to do. For the record, I have to review on Calculus, Cost Accounting and Financial Accounting, and I have to read our ‘‘Law On Obligations and Contracts’’ book.

While reading I just can’t stay put, I’m worrying again and spurring either random thoughts or just plain blabber.

I live in a land of narrow-minded fools, where such a folly is famous and prevailing. Not my family but, well…my classmates and schoolmates and those around me.  Maybe that’s why I want to graduate already, I can’t conform with them, aside from the fact that I am not with my true friends. Of course I have friends at school but they are nothing like my high school friends. I have little things in common with them in contrast with my two beloved high school and lifetime friends. I wonder why it’s so hard to form a friendship with those unlike you.

And my classmates, all of them dream of the same thing, I don’t. I have different plans, different goals, a different path. Just because we spend the day in the same room doesn’t mean the same for when we graduate. But most of all, I don’t have to fit in. It’s fine with me. That day will come when I’m finally walking on the road I should be.

So I was thinking about those things when I enter my sister’s room, she was watching Galaxy Angel on DVD.  I joined in because heck, I love anime and I miss those days when I can freely watch it without any worries in mind. My weekends are really like a day-off from work. I’m at my home. And Sunday only hurts when thoughts of Monday come along.

While watching Galaxy Angel, I suddenly remembered that the 5 main characters are different personalities yet, they seem to show a bit of care or connection at least. I wonder if that can really work in real life. I am not saying that I don’t love my college friends, it’s just that I’m not fully with them. I may be physically present in our “bonding times” but mentally, I want to be elsewhere. I know I’m a good friend to them, I help them in ways I can. Somehow I can’t tell them that I’m not happy with college life anymore, I don’t want to tell them anyway. I can’t share a lot of things to them. In fact, they know little about me. And it’s a reason I have learned to love blogging because in some way I know I am capable of sharing things. Maybe I can’t share everything to them, I just think that what’s important is that I’m still a friend to them.

Okay, enough blabber now. Back to work.

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